They whisper to me in my head. They walk in my dreams. I see their silhouettes watching me, saying things I cannot understand.
I take steps in my mind to ends I do not see, yet each tread spells the promise of some new doom for me.
Each breeds the thought of something extraordinary. And the further I go, the more possibilities loom closer, move nearer. They seem without me, yet are always me -- whispers of I. I am the one who is moving and I do not wish to stop. Do you?

Read more in The Ghost Within.


Pictures by Anoxia.

I've recently taken it upon myself to read the Majestic Warlord Chronicles, or, as they are also known, The Arthur Books.
It just so happened that I got the first book in the mail by a presumed admirer... because who else would send me this book?

So, before I begin this review, a big thank you to whoever it was that had sent it to me because these books are fucking fantastic!

Having said that, I must also point out that, have I not been interested in this subject and the Arthurian Myth in general, I would have probably stopped reading, for the first chapter consists of what I thought to be a rather curious case of world-building. Curious because (spoiler alert) almost every character that is painstakingly described and introduced through sheer "telling" gets screwed over badly (murdered).
The build-up still somehow works, however, since it cements the story of Derfel Cadarn, who is the protagonist and hero of the story and who in one fell swoop looses everything. How's that for a poor orphan with bad luck.

I should say that the books can be described pretty simply.

Honor. Loyalty. Friendship. Love. War.

These are the basic themes that run through the three novels and which are told with amazing skill and finesse. I wasn't bored in the least when reading these books, ever.
Yet there's a thing about the first book which the other three lack, and which I found pulled you in quite a bit (but by the second you're spellbound anyway, so I wouldn't say the other two lacked anything). Simply put, the first one is slower and builds up every chapter much more gradually. It then reaches the chapter's climax and suddenly you wish to read even more.

The historical aspects are added to and are made real by the names running rampant throughout the tale. Some of which are quite fun to pronounce. Gorfydyyd!

I will not get much into the story, other that the fact that is is great.
There's a lot of surprises and the prevailing sense of confusion, when you don't know if what Merlin and the druids can do is real, or if their magic is just circumstance, sheer luck and worldly wisdom. The religious aspects of the book are thrust into the forefront from the start. Although in the beginning it will seem as though everyone mostly just "spits to avert evil" (there's a lot of spitting), or pisses to avert evil spirits, but later, when Christianity comes into play, the strife between the two religions, and the differences, become quite interesting. Not to mention that the druids sometimes (especially at the end of the series and the end of each book) seem to truly have some magical powers that are baffling, but can mostly be explained by superstition and happen-stance, which makes it all the better and all the more confusing for the reader. But confusion in this case is good.


The first book is largely a "quest" book, since everyone is on a quest for something, Arthur, Derfel, Merlin, Morgan and even Nimue. The second book is almost all political intrigue with smaller battles aka skirmishes, while the third is where the larger battles take place, as the Saxon threat truly becomes real.

I never tired of the descriptions of shield-wall battles. It's interesting, to say the least, on how combat looked like back then, and how a group of 200 veterans in a shield wall was considered an army and a considerable threat. Did you notice I said looked like? The imagery is quite vivid and visceral indeed.

There's a lot more I could say about these books, but I will say nothing else but the fact that I wish there had been more of them.


Now I'm going to have to read the Warrior Chronicles... Damn you, Cornwell!

10/10

Cover art by http://reku-a-day.tumblr.com/

"Granted that the machine-victim has leisure. What is he going to do with it? What memories and experiences has he to form a background to give significance to anything he can do? What can he see or do that will mean anything to him? . . . What has heretofore made life tolerable for the majority is the fact that their natural workaday routine and milieu have never been quite  devoid of the excitement, nature-contact, uncertainty, non-repetition, and free and easy irregularity which build up a background of associations calculated to foster the illusion of significance and make possible the real enjoyment of art and leisure. Without this help from their environment, the majority could never manage to keep contented. Now that it is fading, they are in a bad plight indeed; for they cannot hope to breast the tide of ennui as the stronger-minded minority can. There will be, of course, high-sounding and flabbily idealistic attempts to help the poor devils. We shall hear of all sorts of futile reforms and reformers-standardised culture-outlines, synthetic sports and spectacles, professional play-leaders and study-guides, and kindred examples of machine-made uplift and brotherly spirit. And it will amount to just about as much as most reforms do! Meanwhile the tension of boredom and unsatisfied imagination will increase-breaking out with increasing frequency in crimes of morbid perversity and explosive violence."

It's been a while since last a read a bit of Warhammer 40k madness -- and madness it is.

Especially when penned by masters such as Dan Abnett and Graham McNeill, and now Aaaron Dembski-Bowden! And yet... Aaron is the usurper dethroning all with his most recent and fairly heretical instalment.
I first suspected what he was up as I read The First Heretic -- which was to climb on that blood-slick throne and laugh his warp-damned ass off.

And he has done precisely that, because Betrayer is the best the Horus Heresy series of books and Black Library has offered thus far.

First look at the cover art. Go on... I'll wait.

Did you look? Slightly awesometastic, isn't it?

As for the writing it has to be said that to truly appreciate these fine scribblings you have to have read The First Heretic and the novella Aurelian, then, after having listened to the insanity that is the Butcher's Nails audio drama, you may read this book. (having read stuff like After Desh'ea and Lord of the Red Sands is also welcome).


The reason I say this, is because the story of the two brothers, Lorgar and Angron (the perpetually angry one), evolves through these stories, well mostly Loregar's, but it's still fun to read how the two work together - or should I say clash.
Lorgar always gets calmer, even when he says "You are not Fulgrim," (although he might punch a guy or three with a psychic mace to the face), while Angron simply gets angrier. At everything. All the time. Sometimes he too punches people, although he does it quite literally and with an axe. It is rare that he keeps his anger in check, but that eventually gets even worse. (for everyone)

And this, my friends, is the crux of the story; the relationship between these two titanic and sadly flawed characters. The Betrayer himself, aka Kharn, is also splendidly written, (the true quality of the written word comes out in its full when voiced in the audio book). His calm demeanour seeps through the pages while retaining a sense of simmering rage beneath, waiting to explode in someone's face.

Focusing on these two characters (the primarchs) is what makes this story great, because sometimes even other characters talk about these two, which again creates a sort of centred feel, almost as if Lorgar and Angron are the planets around which both legions gravitate.

Most know the tale and how it ends, but if you're a fan, you'll no doubt wish to know exactly how it shall happen. [Minor spoliers ahead] And I'll admin there was a bit of nerdboy glee on my part when Kharn "scolds" Angron for being so, "meh, whatever, dude" with Lorgar, after the first heretic had just saved the bloody one's behind.
And also, could a story go without Erebus screwing things up as usual? No. Although this is the first time he gets told to "piss off". [/spolier]

Superbly written action scenes punctuate the tale nicely and are thoroughly vivid, although not in the vein of McNeill, who likes to describe his gore quite elaborately.

A theme runs though most of The Horus Heresy books, meaning that each tends to subtly centre, or have behind it a specific God of the "Warp Pantheon" or Gods of Chaos. In this case it is the almighty Blood God Khorne and Tzeentch, who seem to be at the forefront. Splendid indeed!

All in all, the only reason I cannot give this book a ten is because I want Aaron to bleed his mind onto some more pages and make the next one even better!

9/10

For quite some time now, I thought I should perhaps review the books I read, since I tend to read quite a bit.

Lately I have been preoccupied with a certain tome I had been wanting to get my hands on for a while, but always ended up reading short stories on my mobile device or computer instead. I finally bought the damn thing and let me tell you, this was the best book purchase I have ever made!

There is a thread and a certain style which runs through all of Lovecraft's writing that appeals to me greatly. A grandness, or a sense that, even though at times you are reading about "ordinary people", you get the impression of something vast moving behind the curtain and, as a result, the people themselves become far less than ordinary. Them coming in contact with what Lovecraft liked to call "unnameable", is always chilling. And there's always something behind that curtain, you can feel it, sense it.

One thing which I suppose might bother "new-age" readers, is that Lovecraft tends to be very descriptive and tends to "tell", rather than "show". In some stories descriptive narrative may become overpowering, but it never did, at least for me.
For example, the last story in this edition, called The Dream-Quest of Strange Kadath, is an overwhelmingly rich tale when it comes to visual description, as the author jumps between scenes and landscapes a lot. But you can't fault a guy for doing so when he describes sailing the ocean and in so doing has the protagonist reach the moon, can you?

What is truly special about Lovecraft, is how every story draws you in with a certain mystery which the protagonist wishes to reveal or solve, or in most cases, dreads to reveal. There is nothing mundane about any of the stories and most have a special twist. Some you will see coming, while others you may not.

The mysteries behind the veil will slowly come into light through the story itself, making the masterful unravelling a joy to read indeed.

I will admit I had expected more from Call of Cthulthu, a story which I purposely didn't read until I have gotten the print version of it into my hands. But I think that's only because I read it so fast once I got to it, and enjoyed it far more on my second read. I like other stories in this collection a lot more, like The Outsider, The Colour Out of Space, Cool Air, The Silver Key, The Strange High House in the Mist and Through the Gates of the Silver Key, and others. Although Call of Cthulthu did provide with what  I think of as the most memorable and profoundly captivating first paragraph in anything I have ever read.

Indeed there was not one story in this whole 800 page thickness which I did not enjoy. It is, however, a matter of taste which one you will prefer most.

The common thread in all of them is psychological horror, as you might imagine. In this sense everything else is worked around that horror so that when it happens and while it slowly begins to happen, you will gaze onto the pages with a certain emotional investment.


If you want to read truly good tales, I would recommend this book, as it one of those rare tomes I cannot give anything less than a 10/10.

   

I saw a video yesterday of a sphere refuelling at the sun. The foxnewsian explanation is that these are in fact solar eruptions of a special kind - a solar activity called "prominence" which is as of yet a little understood phenomena and happens every so often.

What is startling for me is the very notion that these events have been observed before, as well as the fact that 'the thing' indeed looks like a giant, dark sphere which, in the video at least, shoots away from the sun in an unprecedented display as though detaching from it and causing a tumultuous event on the surface and around it. But does it appear like this due to perspective?

What intrigues me are the questions that arise should this not be the so-called coronal cavity, that is to say that, what if this is something completely different than what we think it is? The possibilities are endless should the observed event of solar activity in fact prove to be something unnameable and altogether different. Something from the void of space where no man can exist.

When I think in terms of 'what if', the possibilities are somewhat mind-blowing indeed. Yet in these wanderings of the mind I find one excerpt stands out from all other thoughts. It is the first paragraph from H.P. Lovecraft's Call of Cthulthu, since his version of something from 'out there' is the most primal and I think the most true in terms of what may float in the farthest reaches of the cosmos - something man can neither comprehend nor emulate, let alone witness without severe repercussions to our collective sanity.

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island in the midst of black seas of infinity and it was not meant that we should voyage far. Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. Theosophists have guessed at the awesome grandeur of the cosmic cycle wherein our world and human race form transient incidents."

I've gotten a few emails from people asking me just what the hell I mean with "we are coexisting energy". The blogpost itself doesn't really explain the notion directly, nor goes it go beyond the title in any real sense. Yet the title itself was meant only to provoke a thought in such direction. But there is more to it... obviously.

This question, what are we really? is something which has been answered time and time again throughout history, yet the internet is strangely devoid of textual explanations that would be simple and uncomplicated. Largely because, for us -- who are used to thick textbooks to explain things because we believe things are never so simple as to be explained in just a few words -- we find that someone who cannot explain something at length, doesn't truly understand. We are used to things being explained at length, and so feel like something which can be explained overly simply, at least things which don't seem simple, cannot be true, or that there is more to it. But one of our greatest thinkers said that, if you can't explain something simply, then you don’t understand it well enough. Simple is E=mc2.

Yet when a thing seems too simple (an overuse of the world simple, I know), many will not pay it much notice, precisely because of a false notion that, because everything seem and feels complicated around us, it cannot be explained in simple terms. Not true.

Sure enough, there are many doctrines that were founded on this notion of coexisting energy, the chief of which is Buddhism and many other, sub-shoots of it. These are less known to the average Westerner  yet still operate on the principle. For us, the inhabitants of the Western world, with its different cultural "standards" and religious endowments, such notions tend to mean nothing. Coexisting energy? Pfuj! "I am a being of matter and I coexist because I was born in a culture which forces me to coexist for my own benefit and survival." This is all true enough. But what happens when you don't know how to coexist any more?  What happens when you feel out of touch and unable to function in set parameters "forced" upon you by society? You crumble. You either find another way to coexist, to get back into the flow of coexistence, or you crumble into dust. Most likely sooner in your mind than in your body.

But let's for a moment return back to the energy part of coexistence. Since the West needs complicated solutions because the world is complicated, there is nothing more complicated, yet at the same time simpler, than the Quantum Theory. It explains how the very smallest is nothing but possibility. This relates to the very biggest; you. Because you are, since your inception into this world, a pure possibility. You are a reflection of that Quanta, that caged energy which forms out of possibility and probability.

A girl who has spent her whole childhood among wolves will never again be successfully assimilated into normal society. Because our minds are shaped by other minds, by the piling of possibilities to make actualities. In this sense, we are coexisting energy. We project our energy to others through speech, the functions of our body, through our thoughts, and in turn, our minds shift and form actualities.

Imagine, for a moment, that your eyes don't see crude matter, but the movement of Quanta itself. Image for a moment you could see the sub-net, below even the atomic scale, where everything is fluctuation, a foam without shape. An intrinsic field where nothing but the rate of vibration differs. It is this state which relates to energy. This field is where it all truly happens. This is what I meant in my earlier post, and that all of these processes will never be truly known to us. They are hidden from our senses and reside in a spectral universe. We can only be aware that these processes are happening and realize they will always happen, all around us, without pause. The question then is, will you coexist with this movement? Can you even not coexist with it? Not unless you live with wolves, but even then, you're coexisting with them... thus you will always be matter [caged energy]... coexisting.


Animation by Mr.Div.